Don’t Let Divorce Leave you Jaded

By: Kassidy Weichers

It is no secret that millennials’ views of marriage are very different that the traditional views of marriage. Millennials are getting married later in life, and some are even choosing not to get married at all. It seems that marriage is not as important to millennials as it used to be for past generations. But why? There are so many factors that play into this question, but the one I want to address is millennials’ experiences with divorce. The truth is that over 38% of Baby Boomers (parents of Millennials) are divorced and that has affected the way Millennials view and approach marriage. 1 Divorce seems to be the norm for millennials, seeing as half of them have experienced the divorce of parents in their lifetime. So how have these experiences shaped their views of marriage?

Coming from a divorced family myself, I can imagine a lot of the feelings that millennials have on marriage. Divorce leaves you feeling jaded. You lose all hope in marriage and what it is supposed to stand for. Growing up, I was taught how important it was to commit to your spouse and love them even through the hardest times, yet my parents’ marriage ended for seemingly no reason. Seeing your parents divorced leaves you with so many emotions, some of which are: scared, hopeless, angry, and confused. It left me questioning everything that I thought to be true about marriage. And I imagine a lot of other millennials have felt the same way.

The truth is that marriage is everything I thought it was. It is beautiful, rewarding, full of love, and so so hard. How do I know this? I have been married to my husband for four years now and have learned so much about what a marriage should be. We both come from divorce families and felt a lot of similar emotions about marriage before we met each other. We questioned whether it was right for us or if we could make a marriage last forever, like it is meant to be. But, once we met each other we knew that it was right and that a forever marriage was possible. We have learned so much from our parents’ mistakes and have found what works for our relationship. It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but we respect and love each other so much. We do our best to serve each other and give 100% to each other.

Sure, we fight, but it is with a purpose and it always makes us stronger and helps us to improve our relationship. For us, a successful relationship is based off of understanding, serving, and choosing to love even when it is hard to like each other. Falling in love is easy, but choosing to keep loving is what keeps a marriage strong.

 

Schwartz, Pepper. (2013). Why are Baby Boomers so Divorce Prone? CNN. http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/09/opinion/schwartz-baby- boomer-divorce/

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