By: Tylene Nichols
My first pair of glasses were huge. You know when people joke about “coke bottle” glasses? That is what I had on my face every day in the third grade. I, like many others have been cursed with astigmatism and poor eyesight, making me an easy target of teasing and jokes. My favorite name I was called was “four eyes.” Something about this title was rude and hurtful to others, but not to me. For the life of me I could not understand what was so offensive about this name.
My glasses were such a blessing to me. I could actually read the board during classtimes. There were a lot less dodge balls hitting me in the face during P.E., and I was able to focus my attention more directly on beautiful things I would see on a daily basis. If having four eyes was such a terrible thing, I feel bad for the people who couldn’t see all of the incredible things that I could.
I have noticed lately that this same basic principle applies to views on marriage and relationships as well. Some criticism I have personally heard include that those in relationships are tied down, they must obey every command of their spouse, and the inaccurate perceptions go on and on. For people in relationships, it can be easy to look at someone else and believe that they are better or worse than you for this reason or that. For the sake of this article’s metaphor, those who have risen above these comments and accusations to find success and happiness in whatever relationships they are in, will be blessed to hold the title of a four eyed person.
I have an incredible friend who was recently married to the perfect man for her. A few months into their marriage, they began to work together at the same company. They were even lucky enough to have neighboring cubicles. For some reason, this was not received well by friends or coworkers. She was constantly being told that working with her husband was a mistake. Her husband was even told once that working with his wife would cause him to “lose his identity as a man.” They continued their jobs, enjoying their time together despite what anyone else thought about it. This lovely couple had their relationship “four eyes” firmly in place.
As human beings, it is second nature to judge others or feel as we know what is best for everyone. I can promise I have been that person many times to others. (Sorry, guys…) Yet how can we expect our ways to work for everyone? If my marriage was exactly like yours, and theirs, and everyone else’s in the world, there would be no work to do. There would be no learning and growing as we build relationships between completely different individuals. Life would be absent of opportunities to experience trials and overcome them accompanied with the person we love. Honestly, life would be extremely boring.
I was married young according to some people. I was always told that I was missing out on life experiences, or that I settled down too soon. My journey with my husband is not meant to be just like yours. Through my “four eyes,” I knew that others viewed me as crazy, young, and naive. These opinions didn’t matter to me because I viewed myself as brave, and excited to conquer the future with a man that I love by my side.
No matter who you are or what you choose to do, there will be those without “glasses” staring at you and telling you that what you see is wrong. With your own “four eyes,” you get to be in charge of your own destiny without having to worry about what another person may or may not see. Clear visions of your goals are more important than the comments of those with blurry vision.